For The Love Of Vogsphere
by CaptainParisStarr
Summary: The Enterprise gets pulled through a wormhole to the planet Vogsphere. Can Captain Kirk deal with the ship that appeared out of nowhere in the cargo bay, captained by a three armed man and navigated my his disembodied (second) head, survive teenage temper tantrums and Vogon Poetry to steer his ship and crew back to there own universe?


For The Love of Vogsphere!

Summary- The Enterprise gets pulled through a wormhole to the planet Vogsphere. Can Captain Kirk deal with the ship that appeared out of nowhere in the cargo bay, captained by a three armed man and navigated my his disembodied (second) head, survive teenage temper tantrums and Vogon Poetry to steer his ship and crew back to there own universe?

Warnings- Spirk romance, and spoilers for the sixth HHGTTG book, And Another Thing... Set after the events in Into Darkness, however the storyline of And Another Thing... has little to with this story.

**Chapter 1**

"Captain, you wished to see me?" Jim turned at the sound of his First Officers voice.

"Yes, Commander. Please, come in." Jim practically purred as he noted what Spock was wearing, or rather not wearing. The Commander was dressed in Vulcan robes, and nothing else, the shape of his body visible through the fabric. Gesturing for Spock to sit down on the bed, Jim got up and went to the replicator, producing a bottle of chocolate sauce. "Is it true that chocolate intoxicates Vulcans, Mr. Spock?" He asks, smiling with fake innocence.

"Yes. As you know, alcohol has no effect on my people, but chocolate does tend to have an intoxicating effect on the Vulcan nervous system." Spock broke off, swallowing hard, as Jim squirted some of the sauce onto his right index finger, and slowly laps at it before offering the digit to Spock.

There is no hesitance in Spock as he leans forward and...

"Red Alert! Red Alert! Captain and Commander to the Bridge!" Jim groans as he is jarred awake, images from his dream dancing before his eyes, and his sleep pants uncomfortably tight as a result of the nature of said dream.

"_A dream? Was that really just a dream?" _He sighs, knowing full well that a dream was all it was. Attractive as his First Officer was, Spock had made no indications that he wished for anything more than a platonic friendship from Jim Kirk. It was Jim who was complicating things with these damned sex dreams- this one made it three this week! But what really scared him wasn't the thought of being rejected, or fucking up his friendship with the Vulcan because he wanted to be more than friends, and Spock didn't. No, what scared him was the fact that he wanted more than friendship and sex from Spock, that he, James Tiberius Kirk, wanted a proper full blown committed relationship with Spock. He was Jim Kirk, Gods gift to women (and some men and other alien genders besides). He didn't commit to relationships, and he certainly did not secretly desire to become his First Officers bondmate! And no he hadn't been looking up Vulcan marriage rituals, he stumbled across the file while researching substances that intoxicated Vulcans, and boy had he been surprised to find that chocolate of all things topped the list.

He pushed those thoughts aside and climbed out of bed, making a beeline for the bathroom. Despite the Red Alert klaxons blaring through the ship, and the repeated message of "Captain and Commander to the bridge!" he knew that he had to do something about his erection before he got dressed, and not just because it was uncomfortable. Those damned Star Fleet regulation uniform pants were so tight that he knew everyone would be able to tell at a glance that he was hard, even Spock. Especially Spock.

Sighing and wishing he was still asleep, Jim quickly took a shower with water as cold as he could stand. Moments later he was dressed and hurrying down the corridor to the turbolift.

Spock was meditating when the Red Alert went off, trying to suppress some rather unsettling emotions. Emotions concerning another man, his friend and Captain- Jim Kirk. Platonic friendship was not truly what Spock wanted, but despite the many hints that Jim wanted to have sex with him, Spock saw no indication that his friend wanted anything more than sex. Spock did, he wanted Jim to be his boyfriend, if not eventual bondmate. But even Spock knew that this was only wishful thinking, since Jim had never been known to see the same girl two nights in a row, let alone commit to a relationship.

Standing, Spock changed out of his meditation robes into his uniform, and left his quarters. He made good time to the bridge, and was not at all surprised to find that he had arrived before the Captain.

"Status, Ensign?" He asked the delta shift crewman currently manning the conn.

"We are approaching a wormhole, one thats not on any maps. In fact it wasn't there at all until about two minutes ago, when it just appeared directly in our path." The words tumbled out in a rush, the ensign clearly nervous at the thought of speaking directly to his First Officer.

"Commander, sensor readings indicate that the wormhole is growing." The ship shook suddenly, sending Jim flying halfway across the bridge as he exited the lift. Spock caught him almost effortlessly, mentally raising an eyebrow as he noticed that Jim's hair was wet, but there was no time to ask why. Nor was it particularly appropriate to ask, since Jim could have simply been unable to sleep and decided that a bath would relax him enough that he could nod off. Or of course, knowing Jim, the red alert could have interrupted a rather intimate dream and he needed a cold shower to cool himself off before responding. Mentally concluding that the later was the more logical explanation, he steered Jim towards the Captains chair before relieving the lieutenant at the science stations.

"Captain, the Enterprise is caught in the anomalies gravity well- we are being pulled in." Spock reported seconds later.

"Bridge to engineering, give me full reverse, all she's got!"

"Engineering here, Captain. That last shake knocked a power coupling loose, it will take a few minutes before I can give you full reverse." The voice was female, and only vaguely familiar. Jim cursed silently the fact that he was unable to recall the name of the chief engineer on delta shift.

"Keep me posted, bridge out." The channel was barely closed before the lights flickered and went out.

"We have been pulled inside the anomaly." If Spock glanced his way while stating the obvious, Jim could not tell because of the dark. Thirty seconds later the lights came back on.

"Status, Mr. Spock." He bit down on his lower lip as the last two words reminded him of the dream he was woken from. _"Not now! Think of something else, anything else! Anything but how sexy Spock looks bent over that scanner... Damnit!" _Jim mentally kicked himself as Spock looked across the bridge at him before replying.

"We appear to have been pulled into another timeline, if not universe. Scanners are picking up a planet nearby, one the ships computers have no records of. The scans show that it is a Class M planet, with a space faring indigenous race of people, judging from the starships in orbit."

"Onscreen." Immediately the viewscreen flickered to life to show a planet surrounded by what looked like yellow office blocks. "Those are starships?" Jim asked rhetorically.

"Captain, we're being hailed." The young ensign at the communications station informed him, turning her head as she did so to flutter her eyelashes in his direction, but Jim barely noticed.

The view shifted from the planet to show a lumpy green alien, but what the alien was saying was unclear since the ships translation software was unable to process its language. Jim made a few attempts at replying before giving up and closing the channel. "Anyone have any ideas what was just said?"

"Captain, were being hailed again... from inside the Enterprise this time. The cargo bay. Captain, we have an intruder! I repeat we have a foreign ship in the cargo bay and intruders in the Enterprise!"


End file.
